


Calm Envy

by agitatedscreamsofsilenece (complexsapphire)



Series: Disabled Complexes [2]
Category: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-29 22:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/complexsapphire/pseuds/agitatedscreamsofsilenece
Summary: Ruki's reservation gets lost and Kyo happens to be in the same hotel, so he allows Ruki to stay with him. It turns out both are secretly glad this happened and something pursues. This is what happens when a relationship proceeds after an incident like this and this is the story of their relationship.





	1. One: The Seduction

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this story back in 2007-2008 sometimes but I had it saved for a long time so I pulled it off my portable drive and revamped it, and rewrote parts of it. I also decided to make it a series since it originally had only two chapters. Forgive any mistakes I missed and forgive my sex scenes, they're certainly not my strong point.

Ruki was glad practice was over. He really did enjoy performing and he loved entertaining his fans but he was just tired now. After a late arrival, he didn’t even have time to get his room. Instead, he came straight to rehearsals without getting his room. 

Ruki was expecting to get his hotel room with an ease and go to bed but no such thing happened. Ruki found himself arguing with the receptionist about a lost reservation. Now, every room was booked and Ruki didn’t know the area well enough to know what other hotels were good.

“How can someone lose a reservation?” Ruki frowned.

“We’re sorry sir but–“

“You’re sorry? That’s nice but that doesn’t help my situation any, what the hell am I supposed to do? Every hotel in Tokyo has no rooms available.”

“You can stay with me,” a voice from behind said. “At least until they straighten this out.”

Ruki turned to see who spoke to him and was surprised to see the lead vocalist of Dir en Grey standing there. He knew who Dir en Grey was but he never had the chance to formerly communicate with them. 

“Are you sure?” Ruki managed to ask.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t. I could use a little company.”

Ruki wasn’t the type to just randomly stay with people but he was desperate at this point.

“Alright, if you don’t mind.”

Kyo only nodded. “Grab your things and let’s get going, it’s late.”

Ruki gave a nod and picked up his bags as Kyo led him to the room. He sped up his steps to catch up with Kyo since he was moving fast. When they finally got in the room, Ruki set his things near the closet after being told to. Ruki glanced around and noticed there was only one bed but overall, it was a nice room.

“Do you drink?” Kyo asked.

“What?”

“Do you drink? Beer, wine, liquor, anything like that?” Kyo asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“Then here,” Kyo said, offering a beer. “I’m not a heavy drinker but I enjoy a beer every so often.”

Ruki took the beer and popped open the top before taking a large swing of it, sighing in relief as it seemed to relax him almost instantly. The truth was Ruki wasn’t really shy with Kyo but he felt tense for some reason.

“Don’t be tense, I don’t bite. .much,” Kyo said with a chuckle. It was as if he could sense the tensity. 

Ruki briefly wondered if it was really that obviously that he was that tense or if Kyo was just playing games with him. After another sip of the beer, his thoughts faded away just as quickly as they came. After he finished the beer, he requested a second beer and boldly allowed his eyes to scan over Kyo’s tattoos. He turned away slowly but looked up when Kyo cleared his throat, only to find Kyo looking right at him

“Do you like what you see?”

“Why ask that?” Ruki responded with a question of his own.

“I’m not blind, Ruki. Do you like what you see?” Kyo repeated.

“Yeah, I know but why ask that when you probably know the answer…” Ruki allowed a smirk to cross his lips.

Kyo let out a smirk of his own. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“Figure it out.” Kyo crossed his arms across his chest.

Ruki stood, unsteadily, unsure as to why his knees were weak, and walked up to Kyo. He pressed his lips against Kyo’s lips and Kyo kissed back. He groaned as he was shoved back and fell against the bed. He frowned and looked up, assuming Kyo was going to be angry but instead, Kyo smothered his body with his own. Kyo kissed Ruki again and began undoing his pants. Ruki wasn’t far behind him and immediately, he began undoing his own pants.

“Are we really going to–“

“Do you not want to do it?” Kyo asked, studying Ruki’s face for any kind of rejection.

“I just don’t make it a habit to sleep with other musicians, Kyo.”

“We can stop but you have to tell me now.”

“No, I want this.”

Ruki tightened his grip on the sheet under him when he felt Kyo’s hand slide in his pants and retrieve his half harden cock. Ruki moaned and threw his head back as Kyo stroked his cock slowly at first. The older vocalist smiled but barely and ran his thumb over the head of Ruki’s cock before speeding up his movements.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“N-No.”

“So you like it?” Kyo asked.

“Yes,” Ruki replied.

Kyo chuckled in satisfaction and brushed his fingers down Ruki’s shaft, enjoying the expression on the younger male’s face. The older vocalist pressed his lips upon Ruki leg, lying rivers of kisses up Ruki’s leg, not allowing his half-clothed state to stop him. He could feel the precum dripping from Ruki’s moist cock and he placed a soft kiss on the head of Ruki’s cock.

“You taste perfect, Ruki,” Kyo said, huskily.

“God, Kyo…” Ruki knew he was lost to Kyo’s seduction now.

“If we’re going to do this, I don’t want to ever hear you moan another name again, do you understand what I’m getting at?”

“You want this?”

“If you would accept it, I’m not going to force you.”

It occurred to Ruki that Kyo had wanted this all along and was just waiting for the right moment. Ruki wondered how long Kyo had wanted this but didn’t spend too much time thinking about it because he had wanted this for a long too. Although he didn’t interact with the guys in Dir en Grey before now, he had known of them. 

“Yes, damn, yes.”

“Good now, cum for me.”

It only took a few more strokes for Ruki to release a pleasured moan and cum straight into Kyo’s fingers. Kyo was satisfied and the unhanded the younger vocalist before shifting his weight off the bed. He ran his tongue over his cum soaked fingers and looked at Ruki with the most content expression on his face.

“You should get cleaned up.” Kyo suggested.

Ruki only nodded in return and pushed himself off the bed with a smirk, before going into the bathroom.


	2. Two: The Progression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months later, Kyo and Ruki remained in a relationship and Kyo decides to come to one of Ruki's lives as a 'fan' in the crowds. Ruki gets him backstage, they go out and have a nice moment and conversation together. This is how they've progressed so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the crappy summary but it does sum up what this chapter is.

The screaming was so loud, Ruki could hardly hear his own voice let alone the voices of the thousands in fans. It was the last song of the night and the intense pleasure surging through his veins from performing continued. He could see the man, his lover, at the end of the stage, hidden under a hooded jacket and glasses. He was always there at GazettE’s concerts when Dir en grey wasn’t on tour or in the studio.

Ruki recalled their meeting at the hotel so many months ago and first sexual encounter. He remembered their honesty about their desires for each and how they acted out on their feelings. He remembered how he felt so much pleasure from just a hand job and what wonderful hands Kyo really had. Those were all things he always remembered.

While these were thoughts he thought about sometimes, his only thought while walking off stage was to get Kyo backstage. Ruki gave a nod towards his band mates and quickly turned, heading the opposite way of where they were going. Ruki found his way to a door that led to the crowds and pushed it open. He tugged on the first shirt sleeve he saw and quickly his lover turned and entered through the doors.

“You did well,” Kyo said, passing by Ruki.

“So did you enjoy the performance or did you enjoy gawking at me more?”

“Both,” Kyo laughed, softly.

“Good answer,” Ruki smirked.

Ruki took off down the hall towards his dressing room but Kyo was quick to follow him. There wasn’t too many words shared between them but after concerts, there wasn’t usually at first. They communicated but only after a moment and they weren’t like normal couples. Kyo wasn’t much for the mushy stuff and Ruki wasn’t particularly typical with that either but even more so, he wasn’t about to question Kyo with questions he already knew the answers to.

“I’m starving so after I get cleaned up, you want to grab a bite to eat or something?”

Kyo was already nodding. “Yeah, there’s a decent café down the street.”

“Make yourself comfortable, I won’t be long.”

“Need any help?” Kyo smirked.

“Not right now, I want to shower and eat and you can’t keep your damn hands to yourself.”

“You’re evil, Ruki.”

“You like it though.”

It didn’t take Ruki long to shower and get into some clean clothes but luckily, Kyo was patient this time. Kyo waited on the couch the whole time and when Ruki finished, Kyo stood up, motioning for the door. The two went to the closest café and sat down at a corner table in silence, before taking the menu. Ruki glanced down at the menu and sighed, not noticing Kyo was staring at him.

“What’s bothering you?” Kyo never turned his gaze from Ruki.

“Nothing really, don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t lie to me, I can see something is wrong,” Kyo grunted and rubbed his face.

“Do we communicate well?”

“Probably not. We fuck and make out.”

“I overheard Aoi talking to Kai and he was stating how it's not healthy,” Ruki snickered and looked up from the menu. “Our relationship, I mean.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Aoi’s mouth is big but it’s really only perfect for cock,” Kyo smirked. “Unfortunately for him, my cock wants none of it.”

“You’re so crude,” Ruki laughed, slightly.

“I know and you enjoy it,” Kyo said, a tint of amusement still present in his tone. “Besides, you are too.”

“Yeah, I do and I am,” Ruki admitted.

Kyo’s crude sense of humor was something Ruki had gotten used and honestly, he really did enjoy it. Ruki mused on the subject while taking the cup of coffee the waitress brought and tilting it to his lips. A small sip was all it took to return some form of energy to his body. Kyo, on the other hand, wasn’t tired at all but he wanted to make sure it stayed that way so he tossed some sugar cubes into his coffee and stirred it.

 

“Ruki, listen to me.” Kyo finally broke the silence.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“What’s right for Aoi in a relationship isn’t right for everyone. I do care about you and I find that feeling growing. Just because we don’t waste our time on questions such as ‘how are you feeling today?’ when I can clearly see if you are well or say ‘I love you’ dozens of times a day when it sounds as if those who say it too much are trying to convince everyone after awhile doesn’t mean we’re any less of a couple than anyone else. Do you understand?” Kyo said, quietly.

“Yes, I do.”

“Don’t pay attention to him or what he has to say.”

“I know, it wasn’t my intention to bother you with it,” Ruki nodded.

The two sat in silence for the rest of the time, eating rice with very little conversation and after, Kyo walked Ruki back to his hotel. Unfortunately for the two, Kyo had to leave tonight if he planned on being at Dir en grey’s studio session tomorrow, which he did. Kyo placed a kiss on Ruki’s lips and quickly pulled away before anyone could see and splash it all over the internet.

“Kyo?” Ruki called.

“Yeah?”

“I do love you.”

Kyo stopped in the middle of the hallway and remained silent for a moment but Ruki didn’t seem to mind, he was glad Kyo acknowledged in some way that he heard the words. Ruki knew how Kyo was about saying that in public areas and in a way Ruki felt the same. Kyo didn’t want certain things to be splashed all over the internet and again, Ruki could understand. Before Ruki walked in his room, he heard Kyo’s voice and stopped in the doorway.

“I love you too, Ru---Takanori,” Kyo said, finally.

With that, Kyo continued his unhurried pace down the hallway and to the elevator. Ruki merely smiled to himself and entered the room, before shutting the door lightly. This was the first big step in their relationship and Ruki would spend the rest of the night, relishing over it.


	3. Three: The Regularity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo's out of town with Dir en Grey and Ruki gets bored so he decides to text him and keep himself entertained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did proof read but even when I think I catch everything, I sometimes miss something. This is just a more cutesy chapter that I had bits and pieces written for as a standalone but I didn't have it completely finished so a few months ago, I finished it and edited it so it can fit in with this story and this is what you have.

Ruki was bored and Kyo was still out of town with Dir en Grey. It was late but not so late that Kyo wouldn’t be awake, right?

Ruki shrugged and got himself comfortable on the bed before pulling his cell phone out. He might as well see if Kyo could entertain him.  
_  
“Are you alive?”_

Ruki used that phrase often when he was asking if someone was awake. He could just ask straight out but Ruki was an odd one.  
__  
“Unfortunately.” Kyo’s response came quickly.  
_  
“Why?”_

Once again, Kyo was quick to respond. _“Kaoru decided it was a good idea to call a late night meeting.”_

_“About what?”_

_“The tour for one. Daisuke has been coming into rehearsal late and Kaoru is miffed.”_

_“Oh no, it’s the big bad leader-sama.”_

_“In Daisuke’s eyes, it is.”_  
  
Ruki took a sip of his drink before looking back at his text message and smirked.  
__  
“That’s his problem. What is the other reason though?”

_“What makes you think there is one?”_

_“Kyo, you said ‘for one’ after I asked what the meeting was about which suggests there is more than one reason.”_

_“So there is a brain underneath all that hairspray.”_

_“Oh shut up, asshole. What is the other reason?”_

_Ruki was comfortable enough with the relationship that he could talk like that._

_“New material. He wanted to go over some ideas he had and now, he’s got Daisuke coming up with some ideas. They’re not bad but I want to sleep.”_  
  
Ruki snickered again and sat there a minute before replying. _“You always want to sleep.”_

Ruki got off the bed and went into the kitchen after he got a sudden urge to snack on something. He looked through the cabinets and decided to grab candy and these interesting crisps he had gotten from a new store down the street. He brushed his hand over his dog’s head and went back into the bedroom. After making himself comfortable, he picked up his phone and read the reply.  
  
_“And that’s a problem, how? Anyway, why are you still up? Are you at your place or mine?”_  
  
Ruki couldn’t help but smile as he punched in the keys for his reply. _“I’m surprised you don’t fall into a coma with how much you sleep and I’m at my place. Can Koron and I go to your place and stay there? I have some studio work tomorrow but the tour is a little ways off.”_  
  
_“If only. You can but the little thing you call a dog can’t.”_

____

____

_“Why?”_

__

__

_“I don’t want it shitting everywhere and besides, it might upset my cat.”_

_“I take the dog out to potty, Kyo, and the cat won’t care. Cats never care about anything.”_

_“Potty? Wow! I haven’t heard that one in a long time. My cat has a very vibrant personality and it is finicky and picky.”_

_“I don’t care, I’m going and Koron is coming with me.”_

_“You better not.”_

_“What are you going to do, babe? You’re way over there.”_

_“I’ll dye your hair the color of vomit and I’ll switch your can of hairspray with mace. Just for my pleasure, I’ll wreck your ass when I get there. I don’t think your drummer will like it if his vocalist can’t walk.”_

There was no response for a while and Kyo was starting to wonder if Ruki fell asleep, finally. Kyo wanted nothing more than to do the same thing.

_“Ruki? Did you pass out on me?”_

_“Sorry babe, I left the house and just got inside.”_

_“You left the house? Where did you go?”_

_“Your place. I had to get Koron ready and everything but I’m inside your place now and settled into your bed.”_

_“Damn you.”_

_“I’m already damned by being with you.”_

_“Okay, you got me there but I swear I will switch out your hairspray can with mace.”_

_“No, you won’t because you like sex and besides, you don’t like it when I call Kaoru about something so don’t make me do it.”_

_“Damn. Fine, but I am going to wreck that ass, Ruki.”_

_“You know, you have a fascination with my ass.”_

_“What can I say? You have an adorable ass and my dick really loves it.”_

_“My ass really loves your dick, it’s a match made in Hell. Don’t get worked up in front of the leader-sama though.”_

_“Good advice. Look babe, I’m going to have to go now. Kaoru realized I wasn’t paying attention and demanded my full attention. I’d rather not fight about it so I’ll comply. He’s giving me an evil death stare.”_

_“Yeah, I’d rather keep you off the leader’s bad side too. He can be a bitch when he’s mad and when he gets that way, he forces you guys to stay in the studio longer but text me later.”_

_“No kidding and will do.”_

_“I love you, Kyo.”_

Like always, there was a good amount of time after Ruki told Kyo he loved him but there always was with the ‘L’ word. Kyo was touchy about throwing that word around because unlike other cultures, those words were sacred and he didn’t just throw them around so freely.

_“I love you too, Ruki.”_

It took a long time for Kyo to send that last text back but it was totally worth it in Ruki’s eyes.


	4. Four: The Relationship Snag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be fun when Ruki decided to come see Kyo perform with Dir En Grey. Nothing was supposed to go wrong but Ruki makes an error in judgement and Kyo gives him the cold shoulder. How will they make up? Or will they at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I would add a tiny bit of drama since no relationship is perfect.

Kyo sat on the couch, with his notebook in hands. Ruki sighed constantly but Kyo wouldn’t look up at him. Kyo was still angry at him for the events that took place earlier in the night. Ruki came to see Kyo and Dir en Grey and it was supposed to be a good night, just like the night Kyo saw him. Things didn’t go quote as planned though and the show hadn’t even started.

“Kyo, will you let it go?”

Kyo finally glanced up. “Whatever you say.”

“It was nothing, just a little harmless teasing and some drinking but it’s all an act.”

Kyo finally closed his notebook and set it in his bag. “You tease, I get it, it’s part of your persona, but I draw a line somewhere, Ruki. You would have stripped down if I didn’t clear my throat. He was practically fucking you over the clothes but you were too screwed up to notice. You were practically all over each other.”

“Ok so it was a little too much but--”

“No buts about it, Ruki. I’m done with this conversation,” Kyo interrupted and stood up. “I have to be on stage soon.”

Ruki sighed and threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. Do you want me to just leave?”

“I want you to do what you want to do.”

“Fine, I’ll just leave.”

Ruki turned and walked out without another word as Kyo stood there and gazed at the spot Ruki once stood.

 

=  
Despite the tensions between Ruki and him, he never showed it on stage. He performed without a problem and that lifted his spirits a bit. Now, they were through the first part of mushi and Kyo finished his verse before pulling the mic away from his lips so the music could play. That’s when he saw him moving through the crowd, heading for the nearest exit next to the backstage area. His eyes widened slightly and his lips parted after a minute as Ruki looked directly at him.

Kyo brought the microphone to his lips. “My heart is shuttered--”

He continued on with the verse and finished the song with one of his famous screams. The rest of the concert went off without a hitch and Ruki never left his spot. Once the concert was over, Kyo was quick to move backstage and to the door Ruki stood outside of. He pushed the door open and like Ruki did at his concert, Kyo tugged on Ruki’s sleeve. Ruki quickly walked in and once the door shut, Ruki kissed Kyo right then and there.

“I’m sorry, ok?” Ruki muttered against Kyo’s lips. “You’re right. I walked out and got myself a coffee and had time to think about it. I didn’t really think about it at the time and I blame the alcohol but you’re right, it was too far. I won’t let it happen again. I want you, not anyone else.”

Kyo wrapped an arm around Ruki and kissed him again. “I’m sorry too. I should have said something right away instead of giving the silent treatment.”

“You don’t need to be sorry.”

Kyo led Ruki back to the backstage area where he’d get cleaned up and they would go out once Kaoru gave the approval. 

 

Later that night…

Ruki laid against Kyo, running his hand across Kyo’s chest. Kyo had an arm around Ruki’s back and his fingers were playing with Ruki’s hair. Ruki grinned and lifted his head, causing Kyo to look at him.

“Is it safe to assume you’re not mad anymore?” 

Kyo smirked. “Yes, it’s safe.”

“Good,” Ruki grinned and kissed Kyo’s lips. “I really am sorry.”

“I know you are, babe,” Kyo replied. “Just know that you’re mine.”

“Yeah, well, you’re mine.”

“Always.”

“I love you.”

Kyo muttered against Ruki’s lips after a moment. “Love you, Ruki.”

This time he didn’t wait so long to say it back.


End file.
